Ease into the Day (And How Not To Annoy Your Wife).

Before the break of dawn today, I did my morning meditation.  This time I didn't have any audiovisual distractions.  I'm looking at YOU, Hertz Rentals and Tom Brady!

I've created a personal atmosphere that is not essential to the meditation process.  However, it helps me center myself.  I sit on my Cosmic Carpet - the art of the young woman sailing on undulating waves - and I prop my crooked back on a yoga seat.  I'm stooping slightly more and more with each passing year and I'm fighting a losing battle to sit up straight like a proper member of the homo sapiens species.

As an added atmospheric tool, I purchased a light projector called Galaxy Cove which casts the image of a star field crowned with a crescent moon against the bare wall facing me.  Not essential, as I said, but it helps me.

I activate the Calm app and conduct a few preliminary breathing exercises.  I receive the sounds of chirping crickets and cars driving along the drizzle slicked street outside my window.  For some reason, I have the Monkees B-side single "Laugh" as an earworm.  No matter.  It doesn't disrupt my frame of mind.  I follow the instructor for thr "daily calm" on the app.  I take notice of any strained muscles or any other discomfort and simply acknowledge them.  Tension drops.  Nothing magical happens as you would see in a Hollywood film about mystical gurus.  You become aware and receptive to your surroundings and yourself.

Sounds pretty boring to you, huh?

Well, when I emerge from my meditative state, I put my ancillary tools away and another song insinuates itself in my mind:  "Wenn Ich Mir Was Wünschen Dürfte (If I Could Wish for Something)" as sung by the hauntingly beautiful voice of Marlene Dietrich.  The ear worm compels me to lay back on the couch and listen to her on Spotify.

In the meantime, Susan is preparing breakfast.  She is in a similar frame of mind as I am, but it is not due to any formal meditation.  It is definitely not due to Marlene Dietrich.  Without a thought to her frame of mind, I play the track on Spotify using my phone's built in speakers.

The opening orchestra sting takes Susan by surprise.  "Whoa!" She exclaimed.  "What was that?"

In my subdued frame of mind, I mumbled, "Ish Murlunnah Dee-trick."

"Could you at least warn me before you play that?"  She asked with annoyance.

"Sure t'ing," I replied, fumbling on my words.

I softly hum the opening verse as I barely know any German (What I do know I credit to my collection of Rammstein albums).  The song envelops my placid mind.

Then I belt out, "Wennn ich miiirrr was WÜNS-SCHEN DÜRRRFFFTEEEHHHH..."

Susan yelped a second time.  "Honey?  Could you not sing like that so early in the morning?"

"Sorry, my love," I say, mimicking Frau Dietrich's smoky contralto.  "I vish to be luft ah-llooonnnne..."

"Well, you will be when I leave for work," she sighed in resignation.  She knew that she would be dealing with me in my prima donna frame of mind this morning.

I rise, slither up to her, and peck her on the cheek.  She does the same.  Off to the train she goes.

I learned something today.  When you are in a relaxed frame of mind, don't let your calm disrupt anyone else's calm.  Marlene Dietrich isn't exactly The Monkees, of whom my wife is a fan.  Though in her jolted frame of mind, even "Pleasant Valley Sunday" would have put her teeth on edge.

Be aware of who you're around.  You don't know if your wavelength is going to clash dissonantly with theirs.

If Susan could wish for something, it would probably be a cork large enough to fit in my mouth.

- JJB