Why I Can't Binge Watch Shows.

Streaming services is what some folk would call a godsend, to which I mostly agree

I remember when I first caught Daredevil on Netflix some time ago.   I noticed in the first episode, so much time was granted to exposition and character growth.  For the life me I couldn't figure out why.  At  first.

Then the realization hit me:  Daredevil was an hour long drama because it wasn't interrupted by any god damned commercials!

As my wife can attest, commercials drive me nuts.  They drove me nuts ever since I watched TV as a kid.  I'm watching a show, say for example Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and for every five minutes of drama it would be abruptly be cut off for what seemed like a commercial break that ran for the same amount of time.  Suze, as many before me, calmly suggested that I simply mute the TV and take a whiz.   What they don't understand is when I feel rage, I am consumed by it.  I preferred to shout at the TV while it bombarded me with ads about car insurance, banking, drugs that are unapproved by the FDA, and ads for shows I wouldn't watch in a million years.

Imagine Anakin Skywalker venting his rage at a plastic screen rather than slaying younglings and Tusken Raiders.  Yeah, that's me.  The Sith Lord of couch potatoes.

You may ask:  Didn't you have cable?  Couldn't you watch hour long commercial free dramas like the Sopranos and Boardwalk Empire?  Ah, but you see, that is premium cable.  I was saddled with basic cable.  Basic cable, that bastard abomination of Ted Turner, who concocted the idea that he could make people pay a monthly fee for cable and deal with the annoyance of commercial breaks.   That demonically clever son of a bitch had me in his clutches for so long...

So, back to streaming services.  An advantage that it has over premium cable is that you can watch an episode any time you want, without even programming a DVR to do it for you.  So, without having to fiddle around with some new, clunky plastic box, I could watch Altered Carbon, Cowboy Bebop (anime), The Witcher, and the afore mentioned Daredevil morning, noon, night, or the second Tuesday of next week!

Then, of course, there's Amazon Prime, with such curiosities as Tales from the Loop, The Boys, Invincible and a fuckton of other shows I can catch up with long after the hype has died down.

Ah, and then there's my guilty pleasure, Disney Plus (restrain your hissing and booing for the moment, please).  Susan gets to watch her favorite nature shows while I plow through all things Marvel and Star Wars.  Be honest, would I have subscribed to Disney Plus had it not been for an armor plated, T-visored bucket head and his cute little product placement?  I love me some Mandalorian and I'm eagerly awaiting The Book of Boba Fett.  Sue me.  I like bucket headed warriors.

To those inured to commercial free programming, this is nothing new.  But for me, it's a miracle!  However, there is one ritual in which I do not feel compelled to partake.

I speak, of course, of binge watching.

As a child whose idea of sports was running around in the playground and being pushed, kicked, and wedgied by the neighborhood bullies, I would lose myself in hours of comedies, cartoons and adventure shows.  From Laurel and Hardy to Tom & Jerry to Jason of Star Command, I had an untiring addiction to the mind numbing cathode ray electron gun.  This bad habit extended to the point where my parents hollered at me (and rightfully so) at shirking my homework for another bout of a mouse dropping an anvil on a cat's head.

Somewhere along the line, around adolescence, I had a silent but profound realization that helped me cleave to the social animal that is homo sapiens ever more closely.

Watching hour after hour of TV is wasting my life.

So I found other means of wasting my life.  Hanging out with friends, going to rock concerts, hanging out in dingy clubs slam dancing to bands whose names I can't remember, applauding my more talented buddies at improv comedy shows, getting drunk on Wild Turkey and spicy curly fries, and at long last... falling in love.

Walks in the park were more refreshing than mesmerized before cathode rays and later plasma screens.  I curled up with a good book.  I took all my lessons in the visual arts in high school to perfect my writing and illustration.  I wrote, acted, shot, and edited videos for YouTube rather than idly sitting by watching other people's work and chuckling like either Beavis or Butthead.  Yes, my life had improved greatly when liberated from the programming grid of the plasma window.

But, I still have favorite programs.  Take note of the ones I mentioned above.  Anyway, today I watched the first episode of the new season of The Witcher.  All eight?  Ten?  Twelve? episodes are available for viewing.  My point is, after enjoying the hourlong drama, I saw that highlighted box that ticks down the seconds until jumping automatically to the next episode.  I shrugged and said to myself, "Eh.  Maybe later.  I have a life to lead."

I have errands to run like everyone else.  I drop off the compost and go to the supermarket afterwards.  I'm wrapping up presents for Susan and Mom.  I'm going to brave a leisurely walk down the avenue or up the hill in the chill wintry air with the missus.  So many mundane but beautiful acts and just enough time to do it.

So, boys and girls, the lesson here - which you probably already know - is this:  Take advantage of technology and don't let it take advantage of you.

I think I've spent enough time in front of this screen as well, don't you think?

- JJB